Red Light

Love should be sweet

Love should be kind

Love should be that motivation that keeps you going

Love should be that support that you fall into,

When the world is at your throat

Keeping your breath trapped in your windpipe

While you begin to lose hope

Love should be that fresh air filling your exhausted lungs

Ours was a red light

That stopped me in my tracks

The second our eyes met

The second I saw those lips

The second I heard your laugh

The second you called me honey

The second we breathed the same air,

An air sweeter than the golden luscious liquid you so casually referred to me as

Immediately I halted on my path

My ambitions

My dreams

My desires

My needs

My wants

The path that I had fought so hard to find

The path that brought my light to the world

The path that brought me a sense of power I had never felt before

I stopped walking on

I stood glued to the ground

Weighed down by your sweet words that no one had ever said to me before

Weighed down by my fears that I would mess this up

Weighed down by the future I imagined with you, the second our eyes met

A future so much changed from the one envisioned before

A future that did not entirely fit my path

The light I had seen at the end of my journey

A future that focused around you and your needs

A future in which I lost much of myself because

my love for you was so strong

My desire to care for you and take care of you was so strong

My desire to wake up in your arms

To be there when you got home

To be the one you turned to

To be the one you needed

To be the one you wanted

To be “worthy” of your love

All so strong,

That it squeezed me like vice

Until my lungs and brain begged for oxygen

Panic took hold and my mind lost control

Control it fought to regain,

Yet my heart battled it every inch

Until the red light turned green

Love should be sweet

Love should be kind

Love should be that motivation that keeps you going

Love should be that support that you fall into,

When the world is at your throat

Keeping your breath trapped in your windpipe

While you begin to lose hope

Love should be that fresh air filling your exhausted lungs

But yours took my breath

My motivation

My path from me

And I was not ready

Yours was my red light

An obstacle in path

A lesson I needed to learn

But love none the less

Arrived at the wrong time

On the wrong route

Veering me out of control,

Changing my perspective,

Opening up side streets, shortcuts, other roads

that can get me to that same destination

Rerouting me like a GPS

But too late

So I wait and pray you impede my path again

When the time is right

You make me stop in my tracks

With those eyes

With those lips

With that laugh

With those luscious words dripping from your lips

And this time you are only a pale yellow,

That we can turn to green.