Reasons

She looks through the window and sees only herself. She’s tired and distraught but there’s no rest in sight. She looks at her reflection and tries to remember an easier time. A time where the pain wasn’t so deep. When the hate wasn’t burning from deep within.

She struggles to find it and wonders to herself if it has always been there and she just didn’t realize it. She stares past her reflection looking out into the world. The world scares her and makes her want to stay inside and away from everyone. When did that even happen? When did the idea of going outside become something she feared?

She realizes new fears have developed without her knowledge. She focuses back on her own reflection and asks herself “should we keep fighting”?

She slowly steps away from the window and walks away. She knows that question is a loaded gun and she’s headed for a rough night. She must fight the thoughts now. She must fight herself. How easy it would be she thinks to herself. How peaceful it must be. She fights these thoughts and tries to find the reason to stay.

Then she hears her son “Mommy, come and play”? Then it all makes sense. Her reason has been found again. Her son.

She has won the battle for the day. When will it return? She ponders. There will always be another day, but for now she has found her strength. She will keep on going and do what needs to be done. Until next time.