Raymond

Raymond

There was a talking parrot, he was the grandfather of all talking parrots, the original annoyance, and his name was Rambling Raymond. This colourful old talking bird would not quit yappin’ “yappity yap yappity yap” all day long he would proclaim, he even annoyed himself so much that his own ears fell off. That is why all parrots have no ears like they used to, they used to have ears like us humans but thanks to Rambling Raymond they don’t anymore. But in the end Ray excelled more and flourished more than most of the other anti-talk parrots and it wasn’t long after his children were born that they too started talking, but now they were talking and you couldn’t get them to halt chatter, this generation still had funny looking human ears.

Now as time went on, the non-squawkers became hostile towards the do-talkers and became projectile-poo-droppers and Ray’s family didn’t like that…In fact they couldn’t stop talking about how much they didn’t like that “Eeeewwwweee! Poooooooo!”

Raymond “Gross, it landed on my wing! Hey Eddie, I knew you stole some food from us, I found proof! Eww (almost pukes)”

Then one of Ray’s sons steps up and says, “ok coop, let’s call a poop truce!”

Then all the Talkers said, “Poop Truce!”

And all the non-squawkers gestured with farts as they’ve done for thousands of non-talking generations “Poop Truce!”

But there’s a plot twist!

Ray and his annoying family plan on seeking revenge on those fecal-matter-throwing fowl scoundrels, those absolute scoundrels!

So, days and days go by and the Raymondites act as if everything is all cool between them and they’re plotting for the opportune moment, and they’re even complimenting them?!

Which is literally unheard of before now, no pun intended…

And then, alas! That perfect, oh so perfect day arose; it was migration day.

“hahahaha” said Ray’s eldest son, Oscar, in the most indiscreet way of course.

And the chief of the now known as “Fecal Fowl” said “What does your nonstop squawking boy find so funny?”

And Raymond replied with a chuckle under his breath as well “nothing, just his own reflection.”

And chief Fecal Fowl chuckles briefly and responds, “very well then.”

Then it was not even two hours after this that everybody was all set to migrate down south for the cold season, they all get set, prepare to launch and then ZOOM off into the sky.

It was not long after take-off that the Raymondites, lead by Rambling Raymond himself “yappity yap yap yap” and they start to encamp themselves around the Fecal Fowl and start talking and talking and talking even more. They did not relent on talking did these pestilent parrots and they started to see the ears of the mute fowl cracking and drying out looking like the desert floor and little pieces of their ears started to sever themselves from the ear until there was nothing left.

And when the final ear fell, the silence in the sky was “earie/eerie”. Now the reason for everyone’s cessation of sounds is because EVERYBIRDY lost their ears, and when the Raymondites which still had ears no longer had their ears then that was an end to an “Eara/Era”

Then all the parrots decided that they were longer going to reside with each other, so the Fecal Fowl went east and the Raymondites went west, and when the annoying parrots got to their western destination, they encountered yet an even tougher foe. These high frequency talkers are going to have their work cut out for them if they want to have this land.

Find out next time who these nocturnal foes are.