Purfection

Welcome traveler, glad you’ve arrived

Assuming it’s not just to snuff out our lives

Wait, I know that look, in your compound eyes

The thousand-parsec stare, speaks to the lack of surprise

The quest that you’re on, the reason for such a visit

I’d wager you’re searching for something exquisite!

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But what could I show to one so experienced as thee?

A corsair upon the astral sea

Whose traveled abroad into the unknown

Where only imagination and science dare roam

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We’ve little to offer for a journey so far

Unless you like tik-tok and poorly built cars

Love, laughter, life, art, and emotion?

The beauty of nature or the kiss of the ocean?

Friendship, faith, courage, or devotion?

Laws, language, music, or pictures of toes?

I shan't waste your time with any of those

Nor poetry, politics, power, or prose

Technology, innovation, science, and nations

The nine-to-five grind, or family vacations

Gender, religion, drugs and war

All of that seems such a dreadful bore

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It’s not like society is human-exclusive

But let's be fair this is first contact, we are a tad reclusive

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Those things are all bland, I’m sure you’ll agree

After all, you came all this way for something to see!

Not the mundane creations of mud-dwelling apes

Did I mention we drink highly fermented grapes?

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From Jello shots to genocide

The miracle of birth, to the rise of Bill Nye

None of this is worthy, of the being beyond the sky

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Damnation, Is nothing here worthy of applause!

To a creature who may have dinned with eldritch gods

Think think think, stupid brain!

Humans are silly, confusing, and mostly insane

Stop bludgeoning it with things so inane

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Eureka! That’s it, I think we are saved

I’ll show them that which has us all truly enslaved

Look upon this now, an abundance of worth

Far greater than us apes of terrestrial birth

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Come now, explorer of space

Be humbled before the manifestation of grace

Its form sleek, sublime, yet subtle

An apex predator, who mostly just wishes to cuddle

It lounges about, recharging in the sun

Ohh did I mention it will kill just for fun?

(Now where do you think we learned that one from?)

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We flitter away worried about our singular lives

While their purfection each sports a casual nine

Eyes deep as star systems, whiskers like eternity

Witness now, the true master of humanity

They demand and we answer, without question

Brushing fur, cleaning liter without hesitation

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You’ve experienced much, but here’s a new lesson

That feeling you have is called cute aggression

I see that you’re speechless, that is to be expected

Your sense of wonder at last resurrected

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Cute of face and sharp of claw

Loving miniature monsters, with the egos of gods

It is with great pleasure I introduce you to Cats!

The rest of the universe aint got shit on that!

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Before you ask, yes you may bow

Matter of fact I’d suggest it

I’d suggest it right meow.