puddled

b r e a t h i n g b r e a t h i n g b r e a t h i n g b r e a t h i n g

air that must have been stuck in my chest for days

dislodged shrapnel from too many battles

like... going to the shop

or eating.

I think my backbone is melting

from the decompression

of my innards being swept away in tides

eroding the scaffolding that the air kept in place

... am i melting?

could this be the end of what i know to be me?

dissolution of the abstract that is Caroline Jane

a pain in the arse with a smile

that runsandrunsandrunsandruns for mile after mile after mile

then dies

to repeat it all again

insane

should be my middle name

isn't it my time now, anyway?

is there such a thing in a world where gifts make it turn?

i have such a lot to learn

at my age

schmooz or you lose, isn't that how the song goes?

i have no clue how to dance to that tune

i barely know the words

i just work hard and hope for the best

but hard work can kill a dream as well as make it

you can't fake it

or mask it

i no longer try

do or die

... likely die

I am dissolving after all

Hello.

Welcome to my puddle on the floor.