Prouder Still

Prouder still.

When I watched her enter this world...

Open her eyes and take her first breath.

I stood in awe so proud.

I thought at 26 years old I had felt everything.

But as I held her in my arms...

I heard a voice within me so very loud.

“All that you knew of your life before...

Will now be changed forever more...

Do not fear for you have the will...

She will only ever make you prouder still”

With my innocent heart and eager mind.

I hoped to open up this world...

So she would find.

Her fantasy, her fairy tale.

I wanted to let her believe in the dream.

Then I felt I had failed.

At 4 years old a broken home.

Estranged, vulnerable and alone.

Tearful goodbyes, but a silver lining to the cloud.

She adapted, she grew strong.

She made me so proud.

6 years old began the burdens of health.

Asthma, Eczema, Coeliac what else ?

I felt she had more than any kid should be aloud...

Little did I know...

My God, I was so proud.

For just a year on...

The diabetes came.

I looked at her through tearful eyes...

Knowing her life would never be the same.

As I gave the injections...

How my hands trembled and shook.

As my eyes leaked with sorrow.

All that life had to throw at her she took.

It was now that I began to feel prouder than ever before.

For I realised her strength and I was soon to be sure.

As she took the needle and smiled at me.

“I can do it myself, it’s ok Daddy”.

As if the health issues to bare were not burden enough.

She soon lived through emotional storms that were far too tough.

And they would leave their scars and give Anger a home.

She was well and truly from her fairy tale life thrown.

We entered the darkness together.

Her tiny hand in mine.

We soldiered through the unclarity.

Having faith that the sun would again shine.

We lived seasons of frustration and sorrow.

Anger, resentment and hurt.

We clawed our way up together through the dirt.

Our faith was fuelled by our love and will.

I looked at her, I was prouder still.

Our faith was fuelled by our love and will.

I looked at her, I was prouder still.

Then our fairy tale ending was to start.

We were given a beautiful home which warmed our hearts.

With our friends and family helping us on our way.

We moved onwards and upwards to a brighter day.

Although her health issues try to drag her down.

It is rare that her smile turns to a frown.

She has learnt that her life is hers and she is in control.

My God what a brave, strong and inspiring Soul.

And now I look at the tiny baby I held in my arms.

Who is now this beautiful strong young lady I see.

I look and I know that I have made a difference in her life.

I feel that her future will be all she wants it to be.

I look at my daughter, I hear those words,

As I feel down my spine a chill.

I was so very proud of her.

I am prouder still.