Proactive Pain
I’m an oldest daughter.
Dad’s email says if the worst ever came to pass, he and Mom would be content with what they’d leave behind
I’m an oldest daughter
So, it falls to me to grieve before they’re gone
To worry about what-ifs
Raising my own awareness of concepts and medical terms I’ve never explored
Actively burying the fiery fear in my chest, scorching my heart, my ribs, my lungs,
Coping, crying in the shower, listening a little too intently when they say something feels sore
Tapping my feet, jiggling my knees under the desk when at work and Mom texts me photos of food, because I need to take that moment in
I’m an oldest daughter
Opening into a new stage of life and yet the child inside of me shakes
No one lives forever, but sometimes I wish Mom and Dad could.
About the Creator
Lark Hanshan
A quiet West Coast observer. Writing a sentence onto a blank page and letting what comes next do what it must.
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Dog Number 13
May 15, 2023 Strange things are happening. Good-strange, bad-strange, and strange-strange. For starters, me and all my litter mates are able to stand. Some of us can even wiggle around in a clumsy manner. I say wiggle because it isn’t quite walking but it isn’t quite crawling. We just sort of stand and wiggle and fall and take a few steps and then crawl and then get up again. It is in this manner we are able to move around to some degree and explore our surroundings. Naturally we cannot go far. Which is ok, I suppose, because I am very small and I need my mother for food and my siblings to keep me warm and I feel very loved and comforted by them in some way, so I don’t know why I would need to go very far. Having four legs, I must admit, is very strange. It is not a surprise to me that it is challenging to coordinate them to move in the order they need to move. But I can get around a little bit, my eyes can stay open for much longer periods of time now, and it is easier to understand what is happening. So this is new.
By Morgan Longford2 days ago in Chapters
Comments (1)
very powerful poem that will resonate with many people.