Photo by Lindsey Savage on Unsplash
I'm pretty sure I caught the tail end of your perfume
Even though only loneliness exists in this room
Even though I haven't caught a glimpse of you
In a long time
I could have sworn I felt your touch just once
Yes,
I could have sworn it was you
It's a touch you don't reserve for just anyone
I'll lay here thinking that you're mine
I'm pretty sure I caught the tail end of your perfume
Even though only loneliness exists in this room
Even though I haven't caught a glimpse of you
In a long time
Such a long time...
About the Creator
Frankie Martinelli
Musician.
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Comments (4)
Oh, the longing is palpable here ❤️
Heartwrenching!!! 💕♥️♥️
The yearning here was soooo intense! Such a poignant poem! I loved it!!
I think this is a great image to work with. Overall this is a strong piece. FWIW, I feel it would benefit from less spelling it out. EG: Even though only loneliness exists in this room. Can you show that vs. telling me that? What makes a room lonely? Describe it in a 10 word sentence that shows me an image and I can immediately say: That feels lonely. This is really strong: "I'm pretty sure I caught the tail end of your perfume " It gives me a great visual and makes me want to follow the narrative instantly. I'm jealous of it. But for me, the rest becomes more telling and loses a bit of that zeal. This is just my POV for please take that as it is.