Poisonous Soul

You’re a poisonous soul

One that will never be pure

A disease for which there’ll never be a cure.

I believed in Fate, Destiny, and the like,

But I believe you and I meeting was an unfortunate roll

Where the Universe had simply dropped her dice.

.

We collided by chance.

Never meant to be introduced.

You sensed my desperation, my heart’s desire to be truly loved.

Then proceeded to rope me with the silkiest of gloves.

Such warmth you exuded

Before the gaslight of our future could ever be felt.

.

What a sick twist of Fate, one that you so cruelly dealt.

I hate you right now

In this moment of such pain

And I wish I could stay here before I’m reminded of any love that remains.

.

How could I love you?

When you’ve made me hate me?

For not seeing your flags,

Being deceived so fully?

.

I loved you until the death of me.

That’s what you’ve wrought, ultimately.

When you walked in, my purity did more than walk away.

You extinguished my light.

Drowned me in sorrow.

.

It’s all my fault, can’t I see?

How could I still want you for tomorrow?

You said you wanted me for forever,

This was my mess that I made.

.

Get over it, push away the pain of betrayal.

This is how you always evade.

You weren’t sorry for what you’d done.

Only sorry to be caught.

No thought whatsoever to the devastation that you have wrought.

.

If you could convince me it was my fault

We could carry on.

I was never meant to be anything more than a simple little pawn

Think this is why you feared my fire and resolve

Over time, your façade, I managed to dissolve.

.

No way of knowing who’s beneath the layers of deceit

But I’m done riding this rollercoaster

Please stop this ride! Let me off! Here’s my receipt!

.

Can we rewind? Do over?

Please isn’t there a way for this to all stop?

I’d give anything to talk to the Top

Ask for a new life, from which there’s nothing to recover

Just my babies and I, without all the pain.

.

Away from his influence, that irremovable stain.

No poisonous souls, my constant emotional drains.

Freedom for us is what we’ll regain.

These children of mine are all I need

The only pure love that I believe ever really remains.

. . .

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This poem was originally published on Medium: