Poetry Vol. 2

The Need:

I have a need.

Need for you.

Feel of your hands,

Taste your lips.

When we kiss,

The need grows.

When we touch,

My need shows.

I grab your wrist,

Tug your hair.

You've bit my lip,

My emotions sizzle.

Oh, the need grows.

I begin to only see red.

Lust takes me over,

I'm ready for the fall.

Please, hold me tight.

I wish we could have the night.

Need grows stronger,

Let's go on an adventure.

I need to kiss you,

I need your touch.

I really wish,

I had your body to clutch.

Need is a want now.

I want you.

I want to feel your touch,

Taste your kiss.

Come closer me love,

We need to show the need.

Let me show you,

Just how deep this goes.

Will you let me?

Can you see?

I need you to feel,

A need so real.

The minute you see,

Need takes over.

This is what I want,

Don't hold back.

-Stacey B. 10/02/14

The Burn:

They can see the marks,

They can see the tears.

They hear the screams,

They ignore me.

Late at night,

When everyone has turned out the light.

I take my needle,

Burn away the pain.

They say it's a cowards way out,

What if it's the only escape?

It's not that I don't want to live,

I'm just so sick of suffering.

I wish you could be here.

You make the voices go away.

My pain isn't so bad,

When you hold me close.

I wish I cloud just stop,

I've become addicted.

I love the burn,

It's the only way I'm set free.

I plan to just close my eyes,

Face my fear.

I'll take my last breath,

Welcome sweet death.

-Stacey B. 9/28/14

Regret:

I don't know what to do,

I don't know what to say.

I'm sorry if I'm the one,

Holding you back.

I just want you to be happy.

If that's not with me.

Then go and find the girl,

Who will make you feel that way.

You say there are no regrets,

Yet you second guess being with me.

Maybe I wasn't the right choice.

Maybe I'm not for you.

As painful as it is,

As much as it kills me,

I tell you it's okay to leave,

I won't hold you back.

I just want to know you're happy.

That it's what you want.

I'm dying right now,

I can't lose you.

If you need to go,

Live other lives with other girls,

Then go.

I don't want to keep you here.

The tears have soaked my bed.

My head throbs in pain.

The worst of it all,

I just want to hold you close to me.

I know I can't right now.

You're too far away.

It scares me to death,

To think you could be gone forever.

I want you to be here,

Whispering it'll be okay.

I need you to tell me,

You'll never leave.

I know that the day will come,

You'll want to walk away.

No matter how much it destroys me,

I'll let go of your hand.

Just know that if you left,

So would my will to live.

You're the greatest happiness I've known,

Without you, there is no life.

Without you, there is no Me.

-Stacey B. 1/28/16

Light:

It's this constant ache and pain.

I don't feel sane.

What was it I lost?

I can't remember the cost.

My body has gone numb.

Blood from my eyes covers my thumb.

The acid smell in the air,

Someone is telling me it wasn't fair.

I feel a tinge of love.

For how red looks on me.

On the white like a dove,

It's not what I wanted you to see.

I've lost sight of what's real.

What I'm supposed to feel.

As my emotions turn dark,

I sense the blood like a shark.

I reach towards your arm.

Oh, do I wish you harm.

When I look in your eyes,

I don't see the lies.

Your face burns away my pain.

It kills me when you say my name.

You're the light in my shadows.

You've helped me fight my battles,

When you reach for my hand.

I feel like I'm in sinking sand,

I want you to hold me close.

Be the drug I overdose.

In this black place,

You've brought me the light.

Just by seeing your face,

You've returned my sight.

-Stacey B. 4/7/15

Not Ready:

I feel empty inside. Like there's nothing to me. Just existing, but then there's the pain. I feel like it's my chest, physically hurting. I can't breath, I can't feel anything. I want so much to stay, I don't want to feel anything anymore. It's gotten so bad, I can't sleep at night. All I do is cry. Even when I'm spending time with him, I couldn't be happier, I cry. I cry because I'm drowning. I don't want him to know, to see how bad it's gotten. I need to find a way to get help. I can't drown myself anymore. I just can't do it. I'm so afraid that if I don't find a way to get better, I'll find a way out. I don't want to leave like that. I'm not ready to yet, I still have a life to live. With him, we have to grow old together. I still want him, I still need him. I'm not ready to let go...

-Stacey B. 1/26/16

Bad Days:

I hate the bad days. They seem to go so well, but plummets in a matter of seconds. You simply crash. All it takes is those few seconds to bring you down, all the way to the bottom. You try so hard to stay up, but you just fall. The tears come in little bursts, then streams run down your face. Your breath catches as you try to stay quiet. Your chest aches with an unknown pain, yet so familiar it's a part of you. You can't eat. It makes you sick to try. You can't seem to do anything to make it better. Stop fighting and just wait for the numb to set in. As it takes you over, drift to sleep. Another night with a damp pillow and swollen face. Another night you weren't strong enough.

-Stacey B.

Shadow:

I sit in the dark shadows of the flame.

Wondering, if you ever whisper my name?

In shadows I must remain,

So my emotions stay hidden, and I stay sane.

As my eyes fill with tears,

I realize all my fears.

Everything changed so fast,

It's all gone now, just the past.

Sulking here alone, missing the feeling of home.

The words you hear,

They're emotions so dear.

The shadows around me flicker quickly.

I'm sitting here feeling sickly.

My dreams are no longer sweet,

A wound instead, fresh and raw.

All over my memories like a distant painful stab.

Now I lay here broken and hurt.

With no one to call my own,

I sit here alone.

Sulking in sorrow,

Praying the is no tomorrow.

-Stacey B. 7.11.13

Be Close:

I need to feel you, to feel your hands run up my body. To feel your breath heat up my skin. I want to run my hands up and down your back. Leave little scratches, traces of our moment. I yearn for the feel of your lips, slowly kissing my body. To know how your hands can bring me such pleasure. Pressing my body against yours, have our breath mingle. I hold on so tight, let our bodies become one person. The shadows are cast on the wall, flames flicker to match our movements. Breaths become shallow and ragged, bodies moving as one. Kisses become fiery hot, touch begins to burn. Things heat up quicker, steam is getting thicker. I need to feel you, more inside me. I need to feel, your skin rub against mine. These moments spent together, my most private dreams. I relive these nights as I dream. Sitting here next to you, weakly fighting the urge to kiss you. To set it all in motion, to begin again. The fight lasts too long, I lose out. Lunging toward you, our clothes quickly disappear. We mingle and tangle together, slowly becoming one. Our voices will be heard in the night. No secret we're living.

-Stacey B. 11.9.16