Poems to No One
For all of the things I want to tell you but can’t
You promised me you would never leave me.
But what if I asked you to leave, what if I was the one that pushed you away.
Nothing hurts more than realizing someone you love is hurting you.
Maybe they don’t mean it
Maybe they don’t realize they are doing it
But at what point do you get to say enough is enough
When do you stop making up excuses for them
When do you stop saying sorry for standing up for yourself
When do you stop letting him hurt you
My heart aches for the girl I used to be....
the girl who believed
In herself
In her dreams
In love
And who believed in trust.
Right now my heart aches for that girl
Because the woman looking me in the mirror is broken
She is hurt
She has no trust
She has no hope.
I reach out for that girl and hope that somewhere deep inside she’s still there
That’s she not lost
And that everything that’s broken doesn’t have to stay that way
Thank you for being there
You don’t know how much it means
But how much it scares me
I don’t want to get attached
I don’t want to catch feelings
But it’s so easy
When i came home and you wrapped your arms around me
I felt warm
I felt safe
I felt like I was home
And it’s scares me how easy and how comfortable it is
I don’t want to get hurt and i don’t want to hurt you
I love spending time with you
I love having you in my bed
You are comfortable
You feel like home
But it’s too soon
Neither of us are ready
And I’m not about to lose this
So I’ll stick with what we have
Because in the end as long as we have each other than that’s all I need
Tonight my heart aches just like it has the past few nights.....
But tonight is different
It aches for a different reason
It aches for you
For us
For what we could be
For what we should be
For what I want us to be.
I’m scared of losing you and losing what we could have. I want to believe I can open up my heart again. I want to believe that I won’t get hurt.
What if we are two people who are right for each other at the wrong time.
What if we want to try so hard that we mess it up
Last night didn’t go exactly as we thought it would.
I thought it would end in anger sadness and tears.
I thought I would have to say goodbye to you last night
But here we are and you’re still here and there’s still this calm
It feels like the calm before the storm.
The calm before everything falls apart
Before my heart gets broken.
I don’t want you to leave
But I won’t ask you to stay
I want to talk to you
To hold you
To kiss you
To tell you everything is going to be okay
But I know you need your space.
And I know you need time
But just always know I’m here if you need me.
And if you don’t want to be with me like that. Please tell me. I’ll understand.
If you wanna be with her, be with her
I’ll understand.
You’re my friend and I never wanna lose you
Ever
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