Picking Locks

It is the exhaustion

It is the breathless games

It is the daunting history

The heavy memories you created

It is exhausting

The pleasant memories are fleeting

Like the leaves on the floor

From my opened door

Breathing in the fresh air

Feeling inner peace

Instead of fulfilling yours only

My heart continues to beat

But my feet won’t let me return

To days I’ve grown tired to

I extend my hand to help

You swat me away and complain

Your list of complaints are miles and days

I remember the smiles

I remember more of your complaints

Nothing is ever good enough

Everything is too much

No measure is just right

My presence when I laugh is wrong

My ideas are not ideologies but stupid

I am only beautiful if the room is empty

And even then i am not seen

Your eye will pander to the window

See happy me and complain

Oh it’s not that easy, you love to say

But to others you fall over backwards

And make sure they and the world sees

I sit back like a doll up on the shelf

Only referred to for reserves

Like the last choice of alcohol

The forgotten trash of the yard

Discarded easily, until wanted

Though I tell you this repeatedly

You’ll complain i ask for too much

Because respect is too much

Equality is too much to request

A genuine friendship is too much

A favorite you say,

Like a forgotten classic

Years of the heavy you bring

Weigh in on the door that released me

Sure you may care,

But your actions cause me to question, often

It’s exhausting

It’s breathless

So what is the point

Why would I willingly stay inside the cage

You try to keep me in

Picking the lock from the inside

With my bare nails

Willing to take the consequences

And fall and fail

The doors were never unlocked

But here I am free

Honesty and straightforward

Is how I communicate

but you refuse to try

And deep down you know I’m through

If it doesn’t matter to you

Then it is what it is

And I wont return to you.