Perhaps If Time Stood Still…

I don’t know how it happened

But I am 49.

I don’t know how it happened

But I am a grandmother.

I don’t know how it happened

But I’ve had to learn to say ‘I can’t.’

Once upon a time,

Before I was a 49 year old grandmother,

I thought I could do it all.

I thought I could make a difference.

I never noticed as I ran

Time was slipping away.

Life has been filled with

Moments of heartache and pain

Moments of stress and busy things

Moments of connection and peace

Moments of love and joy

Moments in which I wish time would stand still.

Perhaps if time stood still

I could finish with the busy things

Perhaps if time stood still

I could breathe my way through stress

Perhaps if time stood still

I could grieve through heartache

Perhaps if time stood still

I could purge all of the pain.

If time stood still

I would spend more time

Feeling the warmth in connection

Basking and soaking in

The peace, love and joy.

Hugging until our hearts beat in unison

Absorbing it all

Into every fiber of my being.

Sadly, time will not stand still

50 looms around the corner

I know that isn’t all that old

But it’s old enough

To have slowed me down

The busy things take longer now

Leaving me to wish

That time could stand still.