Paul on Paul by Paul

Your name is Paul Stewart, is that correct?

Yes, that is correct

(You should know)

You're 34 and have a BSc in English Literature, is that correct?

Yes, that is correct

(You should know)

Liar! You're 44 and do not have a degree in any subject

Why does it matter what I answer?

(Yeah, what does it matter?)

Integrity, honesty, playing by the rules. Why do you insist on involving yourself in jiggery-pokery flam-flam skulduggery?

(och, away yee go wae yer auld tak o' goodness)

(from the Scots joukery-pawkery)

There are Rules there are to be broken

You claim to love the language, though, while you rape and abuse it

(abuse? whit yee oan aboot...)

Then say you are a poet, but show only disrespect and disregard for traditions and forms

just stoking the irony or ire—ony (from a Scots word for any)

(How dare you, you cad)

(He's a poet cos he kens it)

The traditions and the forms, like the rules, are there to be skewered and flagrantly )ignored( and )avoided(

You can take your rules, traditions and forms and shove them.

Oh my, oh my, no need to get so aggressive

(you, started this)

Oh, I haven't even started

As I sit here reading your bureaucratic idiocy, I can't help but smile with bubbling, seething rage

The old masters were many things, many of them were even pretty good and deserve the accolades and respect awarded them.

Do you know, though, what else the old masters are?

Go on...

Not here.

(Mic drop drop mic moment)

So, wind your neck in and take a seat to witness greatness free of the trappings of the rules, traditions, form, rhymes and things like iambic pentameter

Poetry is beautiful, poetry is life

No. Poetry is ugly/beautiful, life/death

(Just like this)

Poetry is deep and impactful

Not always. Sometimes poetry is superficial and inconsequential fun

(Just like this)

ire—ony

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: I forget what comment thread it was on what piece, but I used the term "jiggery-pokery" while replying to Sonia, then it somehow turned into a self-imposed challenge for me to use it in a poem. So, ta-da. Please follow the link below and check out some of her stuff as she is a sublime poet who makes me look like some kind of rank beginner who was somehow allowed to pretend to be a poet.

If you like, here are other things: