Palms Sweaty, Not Moms Spaghetti

Blackouts, sweaty palms, night terrors

Waking up wondering where I was

Confused how I got there

My mind spinning

*

I was hungover

Again

How could this happen?

Again?

*

I told myself I would stop

I thought I was stronger than the alcohol

But the alcohol fought dirty

I was always at a disadvantage

*

I was tired of the pain, the hangovers and the regrets

The one-night stands that filled the same black hole as booze

The destruction to my body was obvious to anyone around me

My bags under my eyes spoke volumes

*

I was scared and alone in the darkness

But in that darkness, I heard a whisper

I looked around everywhere to see a flicker of a light

I ran as fast as I could to follow that whisper

*

Before I knew it, I was in a room of unfamiliar faces with the same sweaty palms

Yet, they wore the same masks I wore

I could hear myself in their stories

I laughed for the first time in months

*

Alcohol no longer had the same grasp over me as it once did

I had found a place I finally belonged

I can remember where I am, where I've been, and what I did

Sleeping at night became easier, and I'm grateful

*

I found a way to live that wasn’t just surviving

I can smile, and laugh

Writing became smoother and natural

The promises are coming true