Pain

Pain

When I see others smiling and laughing

I wonder if I don't have muscles to enable me smile or laugh,

I feel it's not in my DNA,

I feel misplaced,

When will i be happpy?

When pain has overtaken half of my years,

Cuts and scars,

I don't feel pain anymore

I can't breathe

I'm dying slowy

Pain, my addiction

Sorrow, my attraction

I feel so much that my feelings are sucked into...

Into the whirlpool of my existence,

How can such imperfections be alive

MY Life needs terminaton

People seem not to be able to stand me

To stand how imperfect I am

My mere speech executes looks of hate and disgust

I can't think anymore

My brain is burned out

My heart has shrunk

I feel like a zombie

Undead and without a reason to live

I am visionless, I lost all of myself

Now I'm an empty shell,

My mere existence seems like a bore,

Many things are said

Many others are done

I hate this feeling

My unworthiness makes me shiver

Shiver in the cold of my existence

Cold shouders and hard looks

Makes me aware of myself

Aware that no one wants me around

I'm slowly moving away

Away from myself

Away from my reason to live

With all my pain,

I quietly suffer

I reverse myself

To the shadows

Back into my previous self

Tattoed, memories tattoed

Memories of my dark side

I got to embrace them

Death, alcohol, smoke.....

Music to my ears

Darkness my only refuge

Pain.....