Orange

At times I feel dull like energy has been zapped

An emptiness and loneliness looms over me

I have no idea where it comes from as it

overwhelms leaving me in a state of depression

I do not want to make light of the situation as it seems

unfair to those who truly suffer. However, I know the sadness

I feel. It’s real. It’s potent. It’s problematic. I try to ignore it as if it’s

not real, or as if I do not deserve to feel the depth of my sorrows

In that moment, I am only doing a disservice to myself.

I promise to rise again like the beautiful sunsets that encompass our

world. The bright orange that defines beautiful summer mornings;

that makes a 5 am wake up call worth it. That reminds me of romantic

walks on the beach or late night convos with “the boys” talking about life. Both of these

events occur at the twilight of the fantastic orange sky that both starts and ends the day.

I was told that bright colors make me look alive. Orange, my color of interest, does this

best. Confidence, creativity, and compassion burst through me like the Kool-Aid man.

Spontaneity, boldness, and explosiveness spread like positive gangrene in the trenches

Sunsets and bright clothes give me the confidence to be myself

Compassion comes more easily. Creativity comes more naturally.

My failures and setbacks enhanced my fears, yet I still feel

an intensity to love hard and to love well. It is a part of my being. It is impossible for

me not to give of myself to help people. Making others feel good is my dopamine

As much as it scares me, I still have the ability to want to be close to someone

I still want to commit fully that I might fall in love with her. Send her cute

texts, listen to every word out of her mouth, and encourage her to be better. This

has the tendency to lead to further heartbreak, but when it happens sparks will fly.