
I have to remind myself
to open my eyes
sometimes,
because I've had
to close them tight
for so long,
I forget I'm living
Openly now,
showing myself
to those I love,
No longer locked
In the dark,
No longer in a place
I’m trying to forget…
And when I kiss you
I can open to see
You're so
breathtakingly beautiful,
It's almost too much
for my silly little heart
to believe–
And I don't have to picture
A gorgeous woman
While I close my eyes
To whomever
Might be
In front of me,
Because there you are!
In all your glory,
even more stunning
than I could have imagined…
And here I am!
Showing you
The true me
(To the best of my
ability).
The person you're seeing
Is as close as I've
Ever come
To being the reality,
(even if I'm still figuring out
what that means).
But there's so much
Risk there,
More than ever before;
You have so many
Obligations, while I
Am just
An option.
Maybe that should be
Comforting, that you would choose
To be here when
You have so much
Already,
but I’m afraid;
One wrong move
And I could so easily
Be abandoned
(again).
How do I know
You won’t leave
When I'm not giving you
Everything you could want?
And if you do reject me,
It's not some
Amalgam of
Pieces I think you
Want to see,
my interpretation of
your “perfect partner,”
But myself,
This inner me I've
Been hiding, protecting
After being
Hurt
So many times…
But here we are,
And we’ve come so far,
And you’ve shown
In a myriad of ways
Your honesty,
Your good heart,
Your open eyes,
So I’ll stay
(instead of my
Signature Move
of silently running away)
I’ll see where we go,
And learn to trust
In this moment
of
us.
About the Creator
Bex Jordan
They/She. Writer. Gardener. Cat-Lover. Nerd. Always looking up at the sky or down at the ground.
Profile photo by Román Anaya.
Bluesky: @umasabirah.bsky.social
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