Older with me

How does one process,

That you wont be aging with me,

That the creases in your face will never match my age,

That you will deteriorate, as I celebrate life's s biggest moments,

How do I process,

That my built in best friend,

Lives on a different timeline,

That you wont be there to hold my hand at the end,

Yet I will be there for yours in not a matter of if, but when,

How is it that the closer I grow to you,

Is another day that passes closer to losing you,

I know I have been fortunate,

For the relationship we have built,

For all the unconditional love and life you give me still,

But how am supposed to find the love in growth,

To desire to have childeren of my own,

When I know,

You wont be there for it all,

When I reach your age, you will never know me,

Just the person I was when we last met,

How am I supposed to continue to live so far away and never regret,

All the time that has been lost with you,

Because as my face adds milestones,

You wont be there for everything I have known,

You wont be the person an the other side of the phone,

The person holding my hand through the pain,

Of losing you someday,

I know it I seem kind of selfish,

That your life on this earth has been well lived,

But how am I supposed to go on,

if you are gone,

How am I supposed to keep being the person I am meant to be,

When you arent growing older with me.