Oh, Porcelain Throne

Oh porcelain throne

I wrote this for you

You're often taken for granted

Tho' many do not recall

A time you never existed

You are the perfect place

To evacuate impurities and toxins

But you are so much more

Than just a hygienic solution to waste

On you, we spend many hours of our life

Some say an average of 30 minutes a day

Not including those "special occasions"

When we have viruses, hangovers, constipation, or diarrhea

When we are sick as a dog, a quivering wreck

You are there for us

When the night before, the morning after starts to repeat

When the hot curry or chilli comes back to haunt us

You are there for us

When we're sat in the cubicle at work and can't face the day

When we're sat in the bathroom at home and trying to escape

You are there for us

With our smartphone or a good book

With a loved one showering or bathing

When we share intimate moments

When we share intimate conversations

When we are crying our eyes out

When we are readying for the day

Digesting the thoughts in our heads

As you deal with our undigested filth

You are always there,

Always there, always waiting,

Waiting with loyalty and stoic sturdiness

To take whatever we give you

The piss, the crap, the blood, and puke

You keep us clean and hygienic

By eliminating impurities and toxins

Sending them down the drain

Oh porcelain throne

I wrote this for you

*

Thanks for reading!

Another entry for the Ode to Ordinary Challenge, which you can learn more about here:

I aimed to take the humble, ever-present flushing toilet and make a beautiful, inspirational ode.

If you have time and inclination, you might enjoy these other pieces:

You can also take a look at the rest of my work here.