Ode To Two-Ply TP

Joyous joyous on the toilet.

Reaching out for my best friend.

Not the one ply shallow paper,

but the two ply softened blend.

Ever faithful, others have tattered,

like a dog, he’s my best friend.

Wiping, swiping, with my buddy.

Two Ply TP, on the Can.

🧻

Jolly, jolly, I’m so happy,

cramps are gone, the crap has passed.

Others hide, but not my buddy,

Two-ply Roll has stood the test.

Rolling upward, spinning downward,

Ever strong to clean my crack,

Slipping, sliding, ever wiping,

From my balls and up my back.

🧻

Faithful, faithful, Two-ply’s hardy,

One ply leaves my fingers bare.

No complaints, just joins the party,

Gently wipes with tender care.

Never stranded, ever I’m grateful,

for my Two-ply pure white roll.

He’s a giver, and a taker,

a true lover of my hole.

🧻

Over, under, neither matters,

when the bowels erupt, expand.

Tearing not, no slippy finger,

that’s what matters in the end.

Always ready, even when messy,

solids or soupy, loose or rocks.

Two ply TPs always steady.

Til the flush of the ballcocks.

🧻

Goodbye, goodbye my dear Two-ply,

swim the sewer and descend.

Dodging crap and sewage rats,

hold on, it all works out in the end.

Gurgling, bubbling, ever onward,

Til recycled and reformed.

Roll on the cone and hurry home,

O Two Ply Roll, my bathroom friend.

🧻

Joyous, joyous, join the chorus,

Celebrate my friend with me.

In the throes of grunts and pooping,

Two-ply takes my crap and pee.

Ever waiting, always ready,

True and faithful to the end.

Fearless, sacrificial giving,

I am thankful for my friend.

🧻 🧻 🧻