Ode to Seal

Dear Seal,

*

I

One afternoon in 2010

I was lounging around, listening to the radio

When out poured the most sublime song I'd ever heard

I did not understand the words

But the melody was enchanting

I was drawn to it like no song I’d heard before

I felt at one with the music

Felt it strum the chords of my soul

My skin hummed with electricity

Needles bristled from my brain

The song captivated me like nothing else

Yet I did not know its name, or who sang it

Not yet at least

*

In 2012, The Voice Australia aired on TV for the first time

There were four coaches

You were one of them

The most mysterious of the four

The one I knew the least about

The network pulled out all the stops promoting its new show

The morning show aired a package on each coach

Introducing them in turn

When it was your turn

They played a clip of 'Crazy'

The only song of yours I recognised

Followed by a second song, the song that was sublime

I froze: it was the song that had haunted me for ages

And you were its demiurge

*

That afternoon I rushed home from school

And looked up your discography

At the top of the list was Crazy

And beneath it was a four word poem:

'Kiss From a Rose'

I had a hunch, searched the song on Youtube

And immediately fell under its spell

The song from my dreams

Haunting from its first note

I spent the next week playing the song on repeat

Imbibing every sound, absorbing every mysterious lyric

It was a revelation

I had found my favorite song in the world

*

What made Kiss From a Rose even better

Is that it was on the soundtrack to Batman Forever

I saw scenes of the film

Intercut with scenes of you, clad in a black cape

Crooning from the top of a gothic, Gotham skyscraper

The Bat-signal lighting up the midnight sky

So moody, so atmospheric

So deliciously 90s

The song made me nostalgic for an era I was too young to remember

When music videos and films were spliced together

To make masterpieces

*

II

My eyes became large to your genius

And your works slowly revealed themselves to me

I learned to recognize your voice

Like I recognised no one else’s

Often in unexpected ways, in unexpected places

Like when I watched one of my favorite romantic comedies

50 First Dates

For the fiftieth time

As Drew Barrymore’s Lucy drove along Hawai'i's rugged coastline

I heard the opening lines of 'Lips Like Sugar'

I sprung up and pointed at the screen in wide-eyed recognition

That’s Seal!

I’d seen the film so many times

And never picked your voice hidden within

The song was originally by Echo & the Bunnymen

But your voice was unmistakable

With that cover (featuring Mikey Dread)

You made that song your own

An upbeat song, yet one tinged with sadness

Chosen for a film where a man falls in love

With a girl who loses all memory of days gone by

No memory of her lover’s smile, his kiss

Of intimacy shared

Love can last forever

But it can also be fleeting

*

The whole song is a comfort to those

Who loved someone who doesn’t love them back

And just when you think that she’s yours

She’s flown to another man’s shores

To laugh when you’re breaking

Your world she’s forsaking

For a woman to forget her love each day is tragic

Each day becomes a Sisyphean ordeal to help her remember

And maybe it works, and maybe it doesn’t

But at the end of the day, there’s always tomorrow

But for a woman who remembers, there are no second chances:

She either remembers that she loves you

Or remembers that she doesn’t

*

At the chocolate café

I sat across from a doe-eyed girl

As we both drank hot chocolate

She lowered the mug from her face

Leaving chocolate on the bridge of her nose

And chocolate on her lips

Lips like sugar

Sugar kisses

A careless compliment startled her

I changed the subject to something less controversial:

Politics

(Idiot, what were you thinking?)

We passionlessly exchanged thoughts for a while

Then I walked her to the station

Making small talk until we reached her platform

Where we hugged each other goodbye

A hug that said thank you for the date

(Even though neither of us would ever call it that)

I like you too, but not in that way

We are friends, that’s all we’ll ever be

*

And so my chance at love melted away

Like a marshmallow left in a mug of hot chocolate

Or a chocolate figure left out in the sun

The sun is a star

And so was she

Like Icarus, I flew too close

On wings bound with chocolate instead of wax

Then my chocolate wings melted

And I plummeted to Earth

*

A man who speaks loosely to a woman

Can lose her for a lifetime

In my dreams, I watched her gaze into a pool of water

Waiting for her to leave

Then once she’d gone, I rush to the water’s edge

To steal a kiss from her reflection

Before she disappeared

Mirror kisses, mirror kisses

*

III

But when all is said and done

Your most important song to me

Is a song from your sixth album

Called 'The Weight of My Mistakes'

*

I found this song at a difficult time

In the depths of the pandemic

Six years of university had come and gone

And all I had to show for it was a piece of paper

All my job applications had been rejected

We were told over and over again

That receiving offers was not what defined us

That it had no bearing on our worth as human beings

But seeing so many of my peers

Launch into their careers

I couldn’t help but feeling left behind

*

2020 was a difficult year for me

A lost year, a year without work

But not for lack of trying

"Keep trying," people would say. "Keep applying."

"You have to be in it to win it."

Such a tired old phrase

One I thought I’d be happy not to hear again

*

I started to question everything

That had led me to this point:

*

Maybe I shouldn’t have gone on that study tour

Then I would have had more time to write applications

Maybe that would have been the difference

*

What if I had submitted just one more application?

Maybe that would have been the difference

*

What if I had been involved in more extra-curricular activities?

Maybe that would have been the difference

*

What if I had started studying for exams just one week earlier?

Maybe that would have been the difference

*

What if I hadn't spoken carelessly at the chocolate café?

Maybe that would have made the difference

*

The doubts began to gnaw away at me

Until I was reduced to sobbing on my bedroom floor

Feeling rejected and defeated

*

Until one morning, listening to a random Youtube mix, I heard it:

The weight of my mistakes

Depends on how I feel

Don’t let it bring me down

And with that, the weight I had carried on my shoulders

Suddenly felt a lot lighter

But what was even better

Was how you gave voice to my frustrations

From fruitlessly submitting so many job applications

I hear you say you gotta be in it to win it

Well, I don't know what this means

Well, I don't know what this means

Thanks to you, I felt heard

I felt seen

I was less alone

And I could see a path out of the darkness

*

IV

So, Seal

I write this letter

To say thank you

For being there beside me

A constant, soothing presence amidst life’s tumults

I may have lost my faith

Thank you for helping me find it again

*

Yours sincerely,

Louis T