Ode to Dawn and Coffee

I wake with my teeth clenched - heinous espresso in

an early morning.

Before dawn.

I load myself again and

again: 3, 4 and 5 -

caffeinated machine gun millennial -

a disappointment and disappointed and on the brink of...

I'm alive to spite God.

I throw

on my favourite old jumper,

torn and ragged until my skin burns

beneath it. I read my favourite old books and

shivering ghost

stories hoping I can haunt myself into

blinking.

Deep thought

and still thinking.

The space behind my eyes aches and throbs.

Biting a rabid turn of my brain. I

sink

into

the hole again and

again and again and...

There's the refrain.

I draw back my

breath and down

cups of peppermint tea

- ingesting

a Simon Armitage poem I don't remember the name of.

But I related to it.

It's somewhere out there

-in the ether-

And I know I won't find peace until

I'm asleep again.

***

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