October 2, 2016

I don't want to stay here.

I want to explore,

I want to travel,

I want to know.

I don't want to be stuck in one place.

And I don't mean travel among people... no. Nothing of the social kind.

I want to travel alone to lonely places, to places that strike human curiosity, places where you feel like a grain of sand among every other living thing in this universe.

I want to feel myself connect to the earth and to the universe as an orb of energy.

Not as an individual,

not as a person with likes and dislikes,

not as me,

but as something that belongs, something that has lost its way and looks at the universe for the way back home.

I don't belong in one place. I don't belong here to be controlled by tasks.

I need spontaneity to lift me from my seat and my comfort and to let me experience

every breath,

every tingle,

every pound of gravity I can humanly sense.

Let the course of nature inject itself and run in my blood as if time were ticking and the only way to save me is to make me run.

Run away from what we know and go towards what we don't. This world will go as far as you want it to go.

We're not condemned to one place.

And I sure hope to remember that for the rest of my life. I don't want to be the water droplet in a wave going back and forth as I'm supposed to. I want to be the droplet that splashes onto the sand and pushes to the unexplored territory away from where I have to be.

I want to reach those days I forget I'm a human being and I don't remember what I am. I want to remember in those days to come that whoever I once was I did this thing called life.

And as death approaches me, it's afraid to hold me as the warmth of knowledge and satisfaction burns its powerful grasp.

I won't let it take me if I only satisfied the system. Not even on my last gasp.