October

This was the month

I began slipping

Through your fingers

Or maybe you were

Slipping through mine

(It could’ve been simultaneous)

❀

I suppose that is just

The font of the story

Which to say

I’m not sure if it matters

❀

Warmth was returning

To our small town but

Fading away from you

Dimming your eyes and

Hardening the lines of your face

❀

I skipped the Halloween party

When you dressed up as

What you’d end up being to me

(A ghost)

❀

I took a step away from you

So small and quiet that

I hoped you wouldn’t notice

(You did)

❀

This was the month

Something fractured between us

When every moment with you

I had to hold back the scream

Tearing up my throat

Pushing against my

Clenched teeth

❀

The month I gave you

Explanations and you

Handed me apologies

In return and I (stupidly)

Accepted them

Not quite thinking

Things would change

But fully believing you

Would at least attempt

To fix them (like I had)

❀

But this was the month

Your promises were hollow

The way your heart was

Quickly becoming

❀

This was the month before

You decided to view

My hurt as a weapon

As a battle strategy

Designed to be used

Against you personally

I swear it wasn’t

I swear all it was

Was just that -

Hurt

❀

This was the month before

You wrapped yourself

In a victim mentality you’d

Never considered using until then

❀

This was the month before

You deflected responsibility

Off a hard exterior and a

Colder expression

❀

This was the month

I shackled myself to you

Afraid to leave you alone

Even though I was

Going mad staying

❀

This was the month

Before you left me there

Tied to a memory

❀❀❀❀❀

Note: This was written for Chloe Rose Violet's 'Writing Prompts for October' Challenge.