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An I.T. tip.. Unplug it, then plug it back in

By Andrew C McDonaldPublished 2 years ago • Updated 2 years ago • 2 min read

When grandpa needed the resuscitator

Defecation struck the rotary oscillator

Lights flashed, buzzers buzzed, alarms peeled

Grandma ran in … as always well heeled

I fell from the chair where I had been napping

Watched with concern as she began slapping

Buttons were punched, hoses yanked

If he’d a stiffy she’d have probably wanked

Not a move grandpa made, other than from each thrust

Despite in his face grandma’s quite ample bust

Running heels were slapping rapidly toward us

As someone exited the pisser to check all the fuss

Zipping her scrubs the nurse finally bustled in

Shoved grandma aside she grasped the old man’s chin

She checked for breath and fingered his neck

While grandma scrambled up from the deck

Deciding that was a right fine thought

I grasped the chair and to my feet valiantly fought

Nurse Betty was pushing rhythmically on grandpa’s chest

Completely unheeding of his Armani vest

Then she kissed him deeply right on the lips

Grandma’s eyes squinted to bright little pips

Then I noticed the plug by a wall socket

Right where my dangling arm could just knock it

I bent down and shoved the plug back in

All the alarms, beeps, and whistles stopped right then

The resuscitator resuscitated, the IV dripped

Nurse Betty and grandma whirled, both tight lipped

Grandpa’s chest resumed its rise and fall

As his favorite spaniel darted in from the hall

The dog let out a shrill sharp bark

Pawing at the bed like a tree in the park

Sorry, I said, my face quite crimson

Feeling like a caught mischievous Bart effin’ Simpson

Still, grandpa’s not dead and grandma not hurt

Nurse Betty just gave the IV a squeeze and a squirt

I fell into my chair, stressed to the max

Guilt and shame my current life facts

Perhaps you should move that chair before taking your nap

Grandma stated as Joe Cocker the spaniel jumped in my lap

So from now on as I drift during my vigilant shift

I’ll do it from another corner as through memory I sift

Guess grandpa’s request as shown in the pic above

Didn’t work despite all of my love

humor

About the Creator

Andrew C McDonald

Andrew McDonald was a 911 dispatcher for 30 yrs with a B.S. in Math (1985). He served as an Army officer 1985 to 1992, honorably exiting a captain.

Never mind. I give up.

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    Written by Andrew C McDonald