No Going Back for Us. Poem 3

No Going Back for Us

You don’t reply

and I don’t blame you

I left,

said it like a promise

as if better waited round the bend

as if you were just the warm-up act

He spoke with gold

you spoke with truth

guess which one I chose

I see it now

the way his charm went stale

the way his hands grew distant

while yours had always held me right

I told myself I needed more

but more was empty

more was cold

and now I know

it wasn’t more I wanted

just different

and I mistook the two

You won’t forgive me

you shouldn’t

there’s no room to beg

when I tore the trust myself

This silence

is the price

and I wear it

There is no going back, you say

and I respect your wishes

I caused all this after all