Nicotine Ghost
6 weeks and counting.
My life hasn't passed the Bechdel test since you left.
So hung up on the empty space you scraped
out of my chest.
I'm trying to learn to live without spite,
in spite of everything I feel without you.
Lit a cigarette just so it smells like you again.
Hoping to conjure you
with nicotine incense.
If you're haunting me,
it's only fair that I haunt you, too.
You said it didn't feel the same anymore.
Guess you confused dopamine for love
that you fell out of
when I fell out of plain view.
If your decision wasn't made lightly,
I hope the weight is crushing you.
About the Creator
Jessica Vann
28 year-old full of whimsy and daydreams living in the bustling city of Toronto, Ontario. A lover of despondent, heartbroken things.
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Silence simmers slowly over slender skeletons; serenades sullen souls slipping into sweet surrender. Serrated songstress, shudder, shriek, shrink in shambles. Speak soft, sombre saviour–secrets secured sour in sanctified solariums. Safe from slaughter, seized by shaky sinners, survive in spite.
By Jessica Vannabout a year ago in Poets
Comments (30)
Excellent work! 💖
That’s deep and paints a vivid image.
So good!
This is the seedy underbelly of heartbreak, with the aroma of lingering cigarette smoke, and it's electric. Really damn good writing.
Oh wow I loved this those last lines so heavy with feeling and meaning
Very relatable! Well written!
CONGRATS ON TOP STORY! ❤️
WOW. This was sooooo powerful!!!!!! Hugely deserved top story!!!! I’m excited to check out your other work… the depth of this! I’m an ex smoker - 3 years free of it next month, and so so grateful I did the work. “Trying to learn to live without spite… feel without you” These lines capture exactly what it is to stop choking our emotions, memories and anger down….because we would rather implode than explode. If this is autobiographical and present tense? The only way out is through vulnerability and crying that river of stores tears… it eventually ends, and the sun is waiting there 🙏✨❤️
I felt this one. A lot of my poetry I write is similar as far as it is more sad, but you did a great job!
oof, right in the feels. great job! and congrats on top story!
Great poem, pulled on the heart strings
Fantastically written!!!
It was intense 👀 congratulations on top story and many more to come❤️
Fantastically written!!! Some awesome lines too!!! CONGRATULATIONS to you!!!💕❤️❤️
"Hoping to conjure you/ with nicotine incense." -loved loved loved this line!
I like how nicotine seems to be both metaphorical and literal in this poem. “Lit a cigarette just so it smells like you again. Hoping to conjure you with nicotine incense.” Isn’t it funny how we torture ourselves with certain memories, not wanting to let go? And those last two lines are a perfect ending. Congrats on your Top Story! 🥂
Phenomenal!
A story I can resonate with. I enjoyed this a lot
Omg!! Excellent rhymes and metaphors!! I love this
It flows and makes ripples! And I cannot tell is it more of a curse or an attempt at reconciliation.
https://vocal.media/humor/the-unforgettable-pie-jiv0pfg
Congratulations on your Top Story🎉
Oh so good, Jessica! Love this!
So deeply relatable. Love this last line, "If your decision wasn't made lightly, I hope the weight is crushing you."
Bechdel test SENT me, what a vibe! I'm in love with this so much. CAN I PLEASE READ THIS ON THE podcast??? Congrats on Top Story??