new year's resurrection

this new year's resurrection

i proclaim the fluid fire in my soul

that it may drip delicately into the decay

of the winter that once made me weep

for i did not truly understand the weight

of the world when it lay down to rest

the silent whispers of blizzards

sweeping silken snow across branches

binding birds to the south

a journey i longed to join

i, too, would fly away

to the georgian shores

determined to avoid my slumber

i would awaken warm and enclosed

in sunshine and sureness

never needing to know another winter

i grew harsh as the ice bittered my confusion

how could a season take so much

bury me deep within myself that i may

not breathe solumnly

for i was anxious in my solitude

i gasped at the frigidness

that forced me to shift alongside her

pulled me deep under pearly white blankets

though heaven herself met me halfway

stealing my show, my selfish play

i could not face myself

for my masks i could not let decay

i hurried to shift them as the leaves

in autumn fall

i was ready to hide

so that they may not know my role

the charade i had come to know

so september came

and i flew

treaded tires wheeling like wings

hitting pavement poised to push forward

to the shores i would escape

like a goose i would lead

the point of the V

i paced towards humid homes

accents thickened in southern skies

country backroads covered in corn fields

whitened with cottoned concern

that i promised would never leave me cold

the way jersey winters always had

though years gone by

shivered i became

a bitterness leaked into my mind

i acted bolder but felt colder

denying the deaths that i needed to discover

the shedding layers that would push forth

self discovery not this putrid self hate

so as this summer burns out

sunny smiles turned autumn grins

i set forth towards decay

the death i am ready to take on

my greatest death yet -

pacing past the geese

=a Vision above=

swiftly in the sunshine

it fades to fall

as i give way to a new path

the one of waiting

in mountains of white

i head towards the north

where i will know a fresh start

for this new year's resurrection

i will forage and find

the reason i let myself fall behind

i will climb into the cave

slumber with the bears

will sink deep into silence

discover my share

for i await to be delivered

in His arms when spring blooms

as i sink into surrender

to the resolution

of the winter

divine.