Never Too Close

Ever since Selena, I don't get to close too people!

My biggest fear was that someone close, I trusted would literally end my life. The relationships I've HAD only further proved that point.
Jealousy, Envy, Unhinged mindsets, Greed, Unprocessed mental health,
Thieves, & Abusers. I've seen my Lovers, turn to monsters in a blink of an eye. I almost lost my life a few times, But God Kept Me!

People say, "you're so pretty", but they seem to forget how pretty can hurt in such strange and unusual ways.
I guess you never watched "Single White Female" growing up.

"Shanquella Robinson", "Kenneka Jenkins", "Kirsten Costas", "Tamla Horsford"!

I definitely can't do girl groups.
Maybe 1 or 2 is fine even though that's pushing it.
The gossip makes my skin itch, what a trivial never-ending competition.

I've had so many smiles in my face, and soon as I left the room try and downplay me.

I've had people literally pretending to be friendly, but you can't even vent properly. Wanting to be sisters and besties, only to gain information on my life. Twist the narrative for their gain, try to embarrass me, point out what they felt were flaws & weakness. Pray for my downfall to boost their self-esteem.

Family, the ones I adored. Whom I'd give my last for !
Disappearing acts when it's that one time I can't Say 'YES' to their Request.
Sit and despise my existence. What's Scarier you are telling Me what was said or that you set in those same circles of family and didn't stand up for me. Or that once upon a time I looked up to You, that I planned to tell my daughters, you inspired me to be, part of who they see.

I've encountered Strangers.
Who prey via social media.
Offer me a job, I excitedly agree! Because naive was my 1st and middle name, thinking so highly of all beings. The stranger soon becomes stalker, because I refuse their romantic advances, and kindly decline the job ....
I remember thinking how thrilled I was "my talent career will really take off with this one"! I should have known the next comment was going to mention my booty, my lips, my eyes, & how moist does it get between my thick thighs.

I don't get close to people, as you can see.
Not even in the workplace, I've had my tires slashed from rejection, to say the least! Even my boss was afraid for me. The list could go on but I know how much y'all hate to read.

To think I don't even have a portion of the money Selena had YET, STILL I've experienced so Much. I've felt the evil energy of humans, who would try to kill me for $5 or less! SO yeah, I keep my distance, I trust God, & I wait till my angels or intuition reads YOUR heart, and even then, I may truly never let you in!