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My Twelve Days of Christmas

A Parody

By Earl W. PearlPublished 3 months ago Updated 3 months ago 1 min read

On the 1st day of Christmas my old flame sent to me

A text that said “We’re having a baby”

On the 2nd day of Christmas my ex then got from me

My text that said “There’s no way this can be”

On the 3rd day of Christmas this conniver said to me

“You won’t be getting off that easily”

On the 4th day of Christmas again she heard from me

“Is this because I won the lottery”

On the 5th day of Christmas she answered honestly

“Yes and now you’ll see I wasn’t free”

On the 6th day of Christmas I answered forcefully

“I’m confused by this impossibility”

On the 7th day of Christmas she told me angrily

“There ain’t no way you’re skipping out on me”

On the 8th day of Christmas I told her, “Now I see

Your only interest is financially”

On the 9th day of Christmas she used profanity

“You sorry (bleep) you’re gonna marry me”

On the 10th day of Christmas she’s causing misery

“I’m not the father, just you wait and see”

On the 11th day of Christmas she finally asked of me

“So why aren’t you my baby’s rich daddy”

On the 12th day of Christmas a final word from me

“Cos for fifteen months I’ve been in Sicily”


About the Creator

Earl W. Pearl

I’ve been writing poetry (rhyming mostly) for about 7 years and have recently transitioned to writing novels and short stories. My poetry genres are faith, humor, social issues, politics, pretty much any subject matter.

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  • Naveed 3 months ago

    great read

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