My Monster

Awakened with a start.

Was that a noise?

An intruder?

Something feels… off.

I toss and turn, but sleep has gone.

It's behind me now.

I tiptoe through the early light of the house,

hands seeking comfort in a warm mug.

The feeling returns.

Skin crawls.

Hairs stand on end.

I had a draft,

so excited to read,

but the monsters behind are stopping me.

Something's different.

CHANGE.

Could that be my monster

lurking in the dawn light?

Things don't quite feel right.

Something's missing,

but not yet gone.

Pen to paper, but nothing to say.

There are really not enough hours in the day.

Paying jobs come first,

but what is left for me?

Then it happens.

I'm drowning.

Fingers clawing at the surface,

trying to grasp something,

anything left.

My other life is slipping behind.

At least I'm still the me that is Mum.

My job is to keep the monsters at bay.

So why can't I keep my own demons away?