My heart shouts

I am unable to speak

so l try to type

the pen sinks down

if l write, forcing to start,

I attempt, to peel the wrap

to grasp some meaning

in the changing clouds

As I better perform

I roared with hate

and rage and contempt

If l am sad I have no grace

I use all I have to kill

the outer version of that

injured little girl which

has always kept, and kept

crying in despair

But I am not just such

I am two into one catch

one kills, the other generates

I am here swinging up and down

in and out, going mad

I am torn totally apart

split, two halves

you can't see all this

A barrier between us

seen just by me though

where I shelter from

all the pain of not feeling loved

you don't wanna know,

you aren't just ready to grow

not yet, you don't want to repent

and you display, you act, intact

with no shame

you also whisper, you give blame

Why could someone

who picked me up from a cave

tries to tell me who I am

how on earth you thow me away?

who is now so astray?

l wasn't numb, it was vast

this time l felt the love,

in my chest, head, womb

and now, certainly not

as a premiere

My heart shouts

to run fast