my guardian, my protector

I was young, terrified, and enamored with the concept of you

I was the grand exhibition in the gallery of your performance

The marble Venus, the Mona Lisa, the golden eagle

Immortalized by Facebook posts, selfies, and bragging rights

I was young, terrified, and enamored with the concept of you

I was your muse, as much as a little girl could be a muse

Your dress up doll, your play thing, your “bubble butt”

Daddy's special little girl

I was young, terrified, and enamored with the concept of you

So enamored I didn't see the signs

The tequila bottles emptied down my throat

The cold, cruel liquor greedily devoured in a vain attempt to impress you

The “you'll miss me one day” posed as a threat

As you poised yourself to haunt my dreams forever

Like a plague

A true, black death

I was young, terrified, and enamored with the concept of you

My guardian, my protector

My voice, my light in the dark

My Zeus

I was young, terrified, and enamored with the concept of you

So enamored I didn't see the golden bird you kept locked at your side, beaten into submission with voracious tongues

So enamored I didn't see you folding those bars around me, my own gilded prison, that would come to rest long after I thought I rid myself of you.

So enamored that I lied

Made you into Heracles when you were Gorgon

Beowoulf when you were Grendel

The painting, aging before me

A constant reminder of things

I

Lost

I was young, terrified, and enamored with concept of you

I was your lolita, your nymphet in floral skirts and roller skates

I was your scapegoat when things were sour

Unpleasant

I was young, terrified, and in submission to the concept of you