My Eyes Are Watering

You…

are beautiful…

truly…

more than you’ll ever know…

more than i’ll ever be…

and I guess there’s a part of me that will forever feel sad about that…

because even though I spend all my thoughts trying to convince myself I’m okay…

i’m not…

I look at you…

and I feel my eyes watering…

because I love you…

I love every single detail about you…

every single flaw…

every single line that curves into what you are…

from your arms…

to your neck…

and even to something as insignificant as your nose…

because I adore you…

I could never wish harder for something than for you to be mine…

and that being the impossible mission I have been given…

I feel my eyes watering…

because I worship you…

more than anything…

and I can wish upon every single star…

there is still no way in hell you’ll ever be mine…

and it gets painful sometimes…

I might even get to the point where I hate you…

but I still love you oh so much…

more than you’ll ever know…

more than I’ll ever hate you…

but my eyes are watering…

because I can’t have you…

not even for all the gold in the world…

because things were never made this way…

they were never meant to be this way…

they just ended up like this…

crashing into my world…

wrecking everything I had built up…

and now all I can think about is you…

you…

and your stupid face…

your stupid smile…

your stupid everything…

making me want you…

even if it meant giving everything else away…

god…

the things I’d be willing to give away for you…

my favorite cd…

my most precious memory…

my sanity…

or at least what’s left of it…

because my eyes are watering…

because of you…

because of your stupid arms…

of your stupid neck…

and even your stupid nose…

making my mind crave you every second of my pathetic existence…

because everyone craves something they can never have…

not ever by wishing upon every star they see…

not ever by giving up all they have…

so they sit in the dark at 4 am…

needing it…

craving this one single thing…

more than anything else in the world…

and sadly…

you are my thing…

unreachable…

but admirable…

because i’m far…

so god damn far…

but I can still see you…

I can still dream of you…

and maybe in my sleep…

my eyes won’t water…