Musicality

Bright lights, distant shrieks of laughter, a banging tune.

As I sit alone in my room, endeavouring to figure out what I want to do, I think of you.

I can’t figure it out, yesterday I was indifferent, at one with strife,

But today, I am full of life.

And I am struggling to describe exactly what you have done to me.

It may be something in the air but suddenly I feel happy, even free.

The weight of the world falls from my shoulders.

I’m energised, ready for every curveball.

Filled with hopes and dreams about who I want to be when I get older.

Inspired by your humanity, marvelled at how you built yourself up from nothing, making me determined to be stronger.

And I’m filled with surprise by the gleam in your eyes, and the way you make me think bigger, even just for a while.

And though I’m holed up on my own on the other side of the globe, all I can think about is what might make you smile.

Responsibilities stack up, reality comes crashing in.

There are things I need to do, places I need to be,

Gotta make that paper, gotta pass that test, gotta win.

Can’t be hung up on silly things like this…

It’s time to grow up, dreams are for sleeping.

“Chin up girl, you don’t have the time or money to be grieving.”

“Weeping, for what? For somebody you never met?”

“Haven’t you heard of Survivor Bias? You’re gonna end up in debt.”

But how can I forget the way you pushed me to grow?

Your kindness, your generosity, the way your soul felt like home?

Time has long passed, I’m in a different stage of life now.

Complete with highs and lows, with plenty of ups and downs.

I work two jobs and I’m regularly burnt out,

But I’m doing what I love so it’s swings and roundabouts.

Sometimes I can still feel you, hanging in the air,

The essence of you, whispering in the wind like music to my ears.

And a warmth spreads across my chest as I think about how much I’ve been blessed.

Well, you always did bring out my best.