Mum’s One Eyed Disaster

Mum’s One Eyed Disaster

My mum’s in love with one eyed jack next door

A dirty creep with a face flatter than a door

He grins at her like he owns the street

I watch from the window, fists in my lap,

thinking, what a vile little chap

He smells of socks and cheap cologne

And talks like he’s carved from a monotone

Mum swoons at every word he says

I roll my eyes and count the days

He borrows sugar, never returns the cup

Asks if I want to join them for “sup”

I hide in the garden, plot my escape

While he laughs at his own terrible shape

He thinks he’s smooth, a real charmer too

I wish I could warn mum, but what could I do

Her heart’s on fire, and mine’s in dread

Every time he winks,

I wish he would vanish in a puff of smoke

Still, I sit back with a bag of chips

Watching him trip over his own fat toes

Mum claps her hands, I bite my lip

This circus next door’s a sinking ship

I guess love’s blind, and I can’t complain

Even if jack’s weird, messy, and plain

I sip my tea, grin and sigh

Mum’s happy, so I let it slide