Moving On

It’s bittersweet.

At one point after you’ve moved on, you’ll look over at the person you had once been in pain over losing, and you’ll feel absolutely nothing. You’ll realize that all of the hurt and sadness is gone…It vanished as if it never existed, and the two of you were never more than just friends.

But then, you’ll also look over at that person and you’ll do something stupid. You’ll remember. All of a sudden, the memories will come rushing back and you’ll remember what the sun, moon, and stars looked like through love-clouded eyes. You’ll remember his smile or her blush and you’ll forget to blink because you’ll recall that taking even one-tenth of a millisecond to close your eyes would be to miss out on the very moment the Earth stood still. You’ll know that his cry or her silence means more than words from feeble minds could fathom. But you’ll also know that a simple “I’m sorry” is all that is needed to open him or her up to be hurt again. You’ll remember that people are fragile and that they need to be fixed (even if the glue is only temporary). You’ll remember the sound of his footsteps or the smell of her hair and you’ll close your eyes as the nostalgia hits. You’ll recall the taste of his lips or the warmth of her skin and the rhythm of your heartbeat will speed. But it’ll be okay because the new rhythm fits you better than the old one ever did. You’ll look at your ex and the lifetimes of seconds you spent together will be condensed into one single moment. And in that moment, you’ll feel everything.

Then you’ll recall why it all had to end, and you’ll remember that gravity exists. You’ll brace for the impact of hitting the ground and the pain that will soon come after…but it won’t.

Because you’ll look over at that person once again and realize that you’re fine—absolutely fine. You’ll notice that the emptiness you were accustomed to is gone. Your chest won’t ache at the sight of your ex anymore and the mere thought of the word “ex” won’t make you wince. You’ll know that he or she once meant everything to you, but you’ll accept the fact that things have changed. You’ll see him or her as just a person, and not the one you can’t live without. You’ll know that time moves on and even if that person wanted you back, you won’t go back. You’ll know that you need better than a girl that steals pieces of you when she leaves, or that you’re worth more than the pause he takes before he says another girl’s name.

And after a while, you’ll realize that the two words you had once been afraid of are so much more than just words because they are what gave you your life back.

You’ll look forward to the future because even if one day, your life doesn’t taste as good as it used to, you’ll know it’s because moving on is bittersweet.

And you’ll also know that you’ll find something sweeter.

mikaila simone | IG: @mikailaisawesome | Cashapp: $mikailasimone