Motivation

I have two older sisters, and we were exactly raised the same.

That being said, the only thing we have in common; is probably our last name.

Over the years it’s always fascinated me, how different we see the world.

Our motivations and how they’ve shaped our lives, from those innocent little girls.

While independence drives one of them; proving to the world she can do it all.

The other thrives on change and knowledge; standing still is her downfall.

I on the other hand, am terrified of change!

The unknown is an overwhelming entity; where I am self- contained.

Unlike my siblings, I never strived for something great.

Love was what I was motivated by, an uncertainty I figured out too late.

As my life passed me by, I stayed with the evil that I knew.

I loved him enough for the both of us; so how could a future together, not be true.

Dreams of us in rocking chairs, grandkids all around.

While driving other girls in my car, nowhere to be found.

When reality finally broke me, and I knew I would never be enough.

I remember the 3 o’clock calls to my sister, saying it was just too much!

Now looking back I know, that love can disappear.

True love just doesn’t come along, it’s something extremely rare.

My biggest regret, ironically now, is the disbelief that will probably remain.

And the unfortunate fact, that I may love again, but no one will have me the same.