Missing you

I miss you

We fit a lifetime into days, weeks, months

Now it's gone and I wasn't ready

That wasn't enough for me

I miss waking each morning

excited for the day because you were in it

I miss laughing at your jokes

I miss teasing you to make you smile

I miss talking about our future

and dissecting our past

I miss being open and honest with you

There was no room for judgement

No need for censorship

I miss talking about our days

and planning for our nights

I miss the "thank you's" and "as you wish's"

I don't understand your choice

If it was always me for you

and you for me

why aren't we together?

If this was something you would always regret

then why not choose us?

Choose yourself over duty

Life is too short to purposely fill with regret

I hope this absence serves a purpose

Are you happy?

If your happiness comes at the cost of mine

it's a price I'll willingly pay

Even if I don't understand

Help me understand

I'm at a loss and I'm lost

You took my smiles and laughter with you

I don't want to find them again on my own