Just when i started to admire the silence, she takes that from me as well.
I gave her control so long ago but yet, she still drags my mind heavily into my own temptations, my mistakes that i tried so hard to avoid.
The feeling of regret i once pondered beforehand vanished with my common sense, trailing after my morality.
I became more numb and just a little more confident.
The kind of confidence a killer gets every second, every minute, every day he isn't caught.
And then becomes out of control.
She DOES NOT want me happy.
No.
She wants chaos to consume me like the light does to dark just before you open your eyes, so quickly, so swiftly.
I've given up trying to push her out of me.
Frankly, because she took my soul along with my direction and crushed them in her cold hands.
And i sit and watch with a blank expression.
I can't contemplate reality.
She's won, I'm done, and the rest of emotion runs.
I am ever so "lucky," though, to have the ability, she's blessed me with for survival
To be able to mimic who i once was,
just so nobody will know who i am now
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