Me Ves Y Sufres

So often I sabotage my own mind

with memories of brighter times

(that did exist)

the grass is greener, sky bluer

(that were at times)

in my memories of darker times

(that did exist)

strawberry-flavoured hallucinations

(laced with counterfeit sweetness)

cloud out the stormiest times

*

Those character building times

when the future can be changed

rearranged, deranged

into a tangled mess

one path leads one way

but those detours

oh, those detours

disposable hearts and soluble minds

*

What kind of glass are you?

the question I struggle to answer

glass half full of water

clearer than it ever really was?

how can we really answer?

how can I really answer?

when my memories are bastardised

*

I need to try and remember

the good and less the bad, the ugly

remember the laughter, the games

the Holidays, like Madonna

and not the...darkness and sadness

the mixed emotions and anxiety

*

Play that cassette, the one I loved

with all the classics

let the memories flood my mind

take me back to those simpler times

your drunken body in the kitchen

face first in the masala

the strong scent of piss

where was Mr. Blue Sky then?

*

Change the cassette to that other one

the one with all the other classics

Sacrifice, Princes of the Universe

occasional Night Fever, oddities

like Toto, Racey and Boney M

that song from MASH and The Chain

The Chain broke a long time ago

what did you Sacrifice?

just for the hoppy, spirit buzz

I doubt suicide is painless

but...a reprieve?

*

If only you had heeded The Right Profile

instead of late nights in ugly drunk style

*

Play that cassette, the one I hate

the one about distant figures

who can't reach you, not quite

emotionally bankrupt, your gift

remember the song, the sad song

Cats in the Cradle, is that...

is that what you became? In turn

(when you coming home?)

is that what I became?

(when will I be mentally...there? I wonder)

without dwelling too much

I always hoped you would

Me Ves Y Sufres

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: This is my first entry for Poppy's Prompts Challenge Thingo for April. I used all words. If you have time, you should also check out all the links. If not, it should stand on its own. It took such a sad turn. Cassette and Sabotage were the words I was drawn to first, as I have good and bad memories of childhood when cassettes were the thing before CDs were really a popular thing. Thanks to that word it made me think of a lot of songs I heard when I was growing up, hence the plethora of links.

Here is a link to her awesome prompt thingo -

Here is some other recent stuff by me: