lovers

“you’re not like other girls”

lovers would often say

as they came

then left

she knew. she knew. she knew

tried to flee it

drowned it in an amber oblivion

escape.

“he’s odd, but I suppose you are too”

her friend who could hear colour

would say about each lover

she never dared to ask what colour her friend heard

when she heard her name

blue?

grey?

black?

blacker

weaker…

hospital sounds. white. clean.

her baby gone

a hollow hole so vast

blackness enveloped her

nurses to bathe and feed her

everything

everyone

gone

“we don’t think you’ll walk again”

she wasn’t sure of much now

but she was sure nobody told her what she couldn’t do

her mind became steel

cold and grey

but alive with shine

one

foot

in

front

of

the

other

she could walk

do anything

back to the real world.

steel at every task

but her heart exploded with rainbow confetti

the day she at last danced again.

another lover.

“i don’t think you’re at all strange”

he said

lovers say the silliest things