i know love is blind
cuz i fell into the arms
of darkness
and now i cannot see
because she holds her hand
over my eyes
but i know she is beautiful.
she has me waiting
at the window
for her return
i count the minutes
and the tiles on the bathroom ceiling.
when she is not with me
i do not cry
and i do not smile
i do not even blink.
but when she comes
for me
she brings me tears
and holds my hair back
when i vomit
memories
then we smoke cigarettes
in bed
and talk about
breaking things.
everyone tells me
i am better off
without her
but my body trembles
when she tells me of the sun
and how it burns
when you look at it
so i asked her to stay
the night
and maybe forever.
About the Creator
Sara
Don’t look for love.
Be love.
Muses & Musings
Welcome to my new series, a weekly blog on what’s inspiring me. I spent much of last week in bed with a stomach bug. I’ll spare you the details of that—but in addition to the grotesque physical symptoms, I had some fever dreams I won’t soon forget. Imagine my surprise to see Vocal’s newest challenge: Write a fiction story about a recurring dream or nightmare.
By Davina Zinn McKee7 days ago in Journal
Comments (4)
Iron Maiden feedback incoming, you asked for it (this is to say I am not just being mean!)..... So, firstly, somehow for me the use of the colloquial "cuz" all on its own jarred slightly - it wasnt part of a wider pattern of speech, which would have made it blend. I also found that there was a transition from imagery about falling into darkness, about blind love, and that was nicely done with the use of hands and arms to create a sense of using touch rather than sight, to show the importance of something beyond physical attraction, into imagery which was contingent upon using sight for it to have impact - waiting at the window, not blinking, looking at the tiles. Of course, this may have been deliberate, in which case perhaps it needed to be underscored more, the difference between the blindness of togetherness and the bland seeing of apartness.
So poignatly tragic and beautiful. You have such an ability make your poetry flow so effortlessly but at the same time jar at the heartstrings. 🤍🤍🤍
This felt so relatable! Beautiful poem!
Wow that is powerful and spanned so many emotions. This was quite unique and well done!