Love = Leave

I've had this raggedy old elephant for a little while.

Some days it seems to be the only reason I smile,

'cause he's leaving out the driveway.

He says he's got to go his own way.

"But I love you,

and that's the reason I've gotta go."

*

So just say that you are leaving,

and go and walk on out that door.

I'll be fine, it's okay,

it was going to happen anyway.

'Cause long ago,

I replaced love with leave,

'cause they always do.

*

Suitcases and puddles by the door are a familiar scene.

I've got no tears left to cry; this is just routine.

I've seen life simplified on gravestones,

heard last goodbyes over the phone.

"I don't wanna go, I love you.

I don't seem to have a choice."

*

So just say that you are leaving,

and go and breathe your final breath.

I'll be fine, it's okay,

it was going to happen anyway.

'Cause long ago,

I replaced love with leave,

'cause they always do.

*

It's easier to build up walls

even as you tear them down.

One tender moment in the hall

is one step closer.

*

I can tell you're different,

you stick around when I don't want you.

So to you, it sounds innocent,

"I love you."

*

So just say that you are leaving,

and go and walk on out that door.

I'll be fine, it's okay,

it was going to happen anyway.

'Cause long ago,

I replaced love with leave,

'cause they always do.

*

But still I hope,

you'll be the one to

pick these broken pieces,

*

and say you'll never leave.

***

The story behind the song:

I have a friend who I look up to, partly because of her great relationship with her husband. One time she talked about how her father leaving her family when she was young sparked the idea she wasn't worthy to be loved. Losing those she loved most plus other relationships with friends, family, and later, boyfriends, only seemed to fuel the idea.

When she met her husband, she had almost given up on love. She told me she nearly ended the relationship when he said "I love you" for the first time because she thought it would hurt less when he left if she did it first.

Thankfully, he didn't allow her to, and he proved to her through his actions and his words that he wasn't going to leave.

So this song is dedicated to them and to those who feel like they aren't worthy.

You are.

***

I'm planning on singing this a cappella so you have an idea of how the song flows, but right now, my voice is screwed up, so it won't be for a little bit.