Love from the T.A.P.

You don’t need to be ashamed of who you are.

You don’t have to apologize or regret or feel bad for anything you want or lost or need or had.

I’m sure it’s understandable.

It makes sense to coop up & hide in times of fear & desperation.

It makes sense to feel alone

when the ones you love, leave

emulating a replica of your parents when you were so young, not so long ago.

Scars last.

You should know that.

It’s okay.

It’s okay to scream

to not scream

to be silent

to be violent

to abuse & use my care & words & attempted comfort.

It’s okay to leave me bleeding out,

cold in the dirt with broken thoughts & heart palpitations.

You don’t have to be ashamed of what you do.

You don’t need to feel guilty for hating people

yet, needing another person’s attention & never mentioning my existence.

It’s okay to want friends.

It’s okay to want.

It’s okay to search for someone who might make you happy.

It’s okay.

I don’t mind losing

my mind

in an instant

simultaneous with the inevitable loss of my highschool love.

I don't mind strenuous thought or heartache or loneliness or abandonment.

I’m fine with getting the leftovers of your love & desire.

But, I apologize if I bore you with my tired ass poetry

& stream of the thought soul vomit.

I’m sorry if I fucked you up with my everlasting, luck-lacking life & ferris wheel of sadness.

I’m a "fucking moronic egotist

with serious mental issues".

But, I love you.

I want you to know that.

You don’t have to feel bad for fucking me up more so.

It’s okay.

I’m sure it’s understandable.