Lost and Found

It feels like I can see forever,

yet my mind’s eye can’t sail

past the horizon;

stuck on that imaginary line

where what’s to come meets what has been,

where things are to be settled,

people to be seen,

obligations to be fulfilled.

My intentions are as vast as the ocean

but my vessel is an ancient rowboat,

and the directions I’m given steer me

straight into the cliffs along the bay.

*

Directions it seems I’ve given myself.

BREATHE.

Soak in the salt air.

Let my thoughts dance

to the song of the seabird.

*

Thinking of nothing yet wanting

to let everything go.

Shaking ideas and obligations from my mind,

letting them fly.

Holding tight to those I catch

in the net of my soul,

while the unnecessary splash into the sea

to be pulverized by the rolling waves

beating on the rocks below

*

I hear a voice call my name

*

It jolts me, and I realize

that I’ve lost time but gained space,

that I’ve seen truth

but have been blind to the lies front of me,

that I care for little

but am in want of more.

*

Lost

in the echo of the rolling waves

Found

in the mournful cries of seabirds

*

Loving that I can feel the silence.

Hating the emptiness it brings.

Holding on to the whole of nothing.

Watching shards of everything slip away

*

But I tell myself that I’m okay.

*

Sated in the reality of at once

being lost

in serenity

and found

in chaos.

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