Little Girl Still Trapped Inside

These scars of mine can tell a story

From memories I’ve cut to fit

Circumcised and patterns torn

That as a child, we just lived with

Backseats filled with unleashed fear

Emotions like a roller coaster

Saying what she needs to hear

Anything to make it better

A loaded car and new house keys

This time the pretty words are over

The same volatility

But now a broke, middle aged mother

Wondering how it came to this

Wasn’t the writing on the wall

How in the world did I miss

That I was heading for a fall

Now Eight years old, grandpa’s deceased

Another thing she’ll have me carry

Her broken heart and my need to please

To a childhood already heavy

Mom and dad gone and still I feel it

At sixty one, like I’m that child

That aching need to try and fix this

A fractured life I have compiled

Sixteen crows wail outside my window

They come to call, cawing my name

Words flow from my mouth, a banging cymbal

A lifetime lived but never played

A battlefield with hearts and daggers

A child’s mind bent to believe

There is no cure for gambled wagers

The only escape, comes after me