LIFE ON EARTH

LIFE ON EARTH

OR

HOW I LOST MY LUGGAGE

ATTENTION INTERGALACTIC TRAVELERS!

THE VIP LOUNGE IS NOW OPEN!

YOU CAN RECHARGE YOUR HEMOGLOBIN

THE MARGARITAS, THEY ARE FROZEN

AND FOR MARTIANS THEY’RE TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE.

THE FIRST ROUND’S ON US

THE AIRLINE YOU CANNOT TRUST

SO ENJOY YOUR STAY

BECAUSE YOUR SUITCASES

ARE IN MARSEILLES

OR MAYBE BOMBAY

ALL IS NOT FORSAKEN

YOU MUST SIMPLY TRY THE BACON

OUR GUESTS FROM MARS

INQUIRE OF US IN REGARDS

HOW THIS GLOBE OF OURS

IS MORE THAN JUST AN ORB

UNDER THE STARS.

WE HAVE CORVETTE CARS AND SPORTS BARS

NBA ALL STARS AND HAVANA CIGARS

ELECTRIC GUITARS AND NONSTOP WARS

SAMOVARS AND EINSTEIN’S BRAIN

IN A JAR .

BUT FOR THE TRULY BIZARRE!

POINT YOUR RENT-A-CAR

TO 2300 SOUTHERN BOULEVARD

WHERE AN E.T. CAN BEHOLD

LIFE ON EARTH UNTOLD

BECAUSE AT THE BRONX ZOO

YOU CAN SEE ANIMALS BEAUCOUP

FROM ANACONDAS TO ZEBRAS

THE WONDERS OF OUR PLANET

RIGHT UP YOUR WAZOO

HARK! A TINY FLOWER

WITH THE APPARENT POWER

TO TRAP AND DEVOUR

IN A BUNKER MADE OF LEAVES

A JUICY MEAL OF KILLER BEES

A CREATION OF SUCH UNIQUENESS

A PARADIGM OF FREAKNESS

WE NAMED HER THE FLYTRAP OF THE GODDESS VENUS

BUT THE PUZZLE THAT IS THE PLATYPUS

RHYMES WE DON’T KNOW WHY WITH OCTOPUS

A FURRY DUCK

PLUS A SHARK OTTER AND BEAVER RUN AMUCK

MILK SHE MAKES WHILE SWIMMING

BUT NIPPLES THEY'RE TOTALLY MISSING!

IT MUST BE A CELESTIAL PLAN

HOW A MAMMAL THAT WALKS ON LAND

HATCHES EGGS FROM BETWEEN HER LEGS

SURELY, THIS IS SOMEONE'S JOKE

BECAUSE THE PLATYPUS CAN EVEN

SWIM THE BREASTSTROKE!

FUNNY, YOU LAUGH

BUT JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE

A FUCKING GIRAFFE!

WE’VE GOT IT ALL

CREATURES FROM GREAT TO SMALL

BUT BEHIND THE WONDER OF IT ALL

IS HOW LIFE COMES THROUGH

THE HUMBLE BIRTHING CANAL

THE SLIDE WE ALL RIDE

WHERE HAPPENS THE DIVIDE

FROM ONE COMES TWO

IT CAN HAPPEN IN PLAIN VIEW

UNDER A SHADY BAMBOO, IN A CANOE

EVEN IF YOU ARE GETTING A TATTOO

ON YOUR NECK OF A KANGAROO

'CUZ, EARTHLINGS WE LIKE TO SCREW!

HUMAN REPRODUCTION

IMPERVIOUS TO ALL DEDUCTION

FOREVER IS THE CONUNDRUM

HOW SOMETHING AS BIG AS A PUN'KIN

FITS THROUGH AN ORIFICE

NO BIGGER THAN THE ESOPHAGUS?

ITS THE MIRACLE OF EARTH

THE MARVELS OF CHILDBIRTH

DOMINICAL LEVITICAL

MYTHICAL QUIZZICAL

UNEQUIVOCAL PINNACLE

WE MAY NEVER KNOW

WHAT MAKES ME

AND WHAT MAKES YOU

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW

HERE WE SAY CIAO

WE FOUND YOUR LUGGAGE

GOD KNOWS HOW