let me ask my body

Is it me?

Something about my face/aura/voice/frame/skin color/hair

because this time it is virtual, but my fight or flight has me scanning the room for potential threats anyways

the potential threat’s voice leaks through the phone

”I can do it on mute, you won’t even hear me”

i am awash with shame again, like i’m the one who suggested it

i feel my body say something tinny back

Last time it was my boss “I bet you were totally dripping sweat”

and the time before that it was a coworker “ I wouldn’t mind an assistant that looked like you”

and in the Uber the other day “your body is the greatest gift you can give your husband, keep it pure”

each time i felt sure that if i had only been colder, harsher, more stern, had firmer boundaries, or was intimidating

They wouldn’t have spoken to my body like that

they weren’t speaking to me, i’m almost certain

because each time my body is addressed She answers the questions

while i float somewhere above the pit in my body’s stomach

tethered by an invisible cord

Who am i?

Anchored by someone’s greatest gift

Who am i?

let me ask my body